


Billy's Birthday

by ranereins (shadowintime)



Category: CHAOS (TV 2011)
Genre: Gen, Humor, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-02-08
Updated: 2012-02-08
Packaged: 2017-10-30 19:31:19
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 768
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/335282
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/shadowintime/pseuds/ranereins
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Billy’s birthday is sort of the event of the year at the CIA.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Billy's Birthday

**Author's Note:**

> Written for the Big Bang challenge @ Fandomverse on LJ. I wanted to do something funny and maybe a bit silly, so I decided to use texts from [Texts From Last Night](http://www.textsfromlastnight.com/) as prompts; this one was 'If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday.' Beta'd by sgflutegirl
> 
> Also, I've come to conclusion that CHAOS brings out the very best of my devious and crazy side. *VEG*

As Rick typed up his report on their last mission, he received notification of an e-mail from Billy. He clicked to open the e-mail and read it.

 

 **From:** Billy Collins  
 **Subject:** Official Inter-Departmental Memo

You’re invited to my birthday! :D

 **When:** Classified  
 **Time:** To Be Determined  
 **Where:** Need to Know

 **RSVP:** Attendance is **NOT** optional.

 **Note:** Make sure your camera is fully charged, you’re going to need it if you want to remember what happens that night. Your memory can not be counted on after the 4th round of shots.

 

Rick looked over the top of his monitor at Billy. “You sent out invitations to your birthday as official inter-departmental memos?”

“Shhh!” Billy scolded as he eyed the open door. “Not so loud, someone might hear!” He stood, crossed the room and shut the door.

“What, is it some kind of big secret?” Rick asked, confused.

“Yes, so don’t go around blabbing about it!”

“Geez, you’d think we were invading a country!”

“Eh, I’m sure that won’t happen… again,” said Casey, not bothering to look up from his computer screen.

“Billy’s birthday is sort of the event of the year around here. Music has the Grammys, television has the Emmys, film has the Academy Awards… the CIA has Billy’s birthday,” Michael explained. “It’s much anticipated and very exclusive.”

“Yes, and I don’t appreciate crashers,” Billy said, giving Rick a stern stare.

Rick shifted uncomfortably under Billy’s stare. “Wow. So, what goes on at this party?”

“We usually start out at McCowen’s Pub and let the night naturally progress from there.” Billy sat on the corner of his desk. “But, if I don't at least start a parade at some point that spirals into drunken riots, I'm calling it a fail of a birthday.”

Michael grinned. “Last year Casey woke up with a stitched up incision and a black market liver, which was probably for the best, because after we drank that liquor store, his original liver was probably already DOA.”

Casey smiled as if it were a story about the good ole days. “Yeah, and Michael had to have an emergency colonoscopy to retrieve a mini-vibrator… we lost the controller and apparently it had the best battery in existence. It was a very awkward work environment for those two days during which we thought the battery would wear down soon.”

“Speak for yourself,” Billy said with a smirk.

Michael shook his head, small smile still gracing his lips. “I still don’t know how that got up there.”

“I don’t know if I want to come to this birthday party… my liver is just fine and I don’t want to have a colonoscopy until I’m fifty, emergency or otherwise.”

“Did you not see the bit about attendance not being optional?” Billy asked.

“Yeah, come on, it’s the most fun you’ll ever have Martinez,” Michael promised. “Any consequential incidents will later be viewed as completely worth it.”

Casey nodded. “Honestly, I think my new liver works better than the old one.”

Billy walked around Rick’s desk and, leaning down so that he was level with him, he wrapped his arm around Rick’s shoulders. “Besides, I need you for my parade! Haven’t you always dreamed of riding on a parade float?”

Rick shrugged. “I was in a parade back when I was in the boy scouts…”

“This one will be bigger and a million times better!”

Rick smiled. He cared nothing about being in a parade, no matter how big or amazing, but the look of pure joy and anticipation on Billy’s face… how could he possibly say no to that? “Alright, I’m in.”

“That’s the spirit!” Billy exclaimed. “This is going to be the best birthday yet, I can feel it!”

 

**_Six days later…_ **

“Best. Birthday. Ever.” Billy proclaimed.

“Seriously?” Rick asked in disbelief. “We’re locked up in Scotland Yard, your face is superglued to Michael’s thigh, Casey may or may not be dead over there and we’re all wearing women’s togas… the super short ones!”

“I’m fine,” Casey said, his voice gravely and horse, but his eyes remained closed and he didn’t move. “May need another liver though.”

“See, he’s fine. And I’m quite happy right where I am.”

Michael grinned and patted Billy’s head. “Come on Rick, can you honestly look back over your entire life and say that it wasn’t the most exciting, if not most fun, night of your life.”

Rick thought about it for a moment. A small smile crept to his lips, despite his effort to fight it. “It was pretty amazing.”

“There it is!” Billy said triumphantly. “And the hair _will_ grow back.”


End file.
